August 27 2010 by The Systemic Analyst.

I still remember the launch party for Virgin Mobile in Canada.  It hadn’t been a week or so since I had started working at SeaBoard Group, a telecommunications consulting company. The launch of the new cellular service was huge in Toronto. Everyone was excited about a new entrant, especially one led by entrepreneur extraordinaire Richard Branson.  Still overwhelmed in starting a new job, I was completely out to sea when at the very-select pre-launch party, Mr. Branson himself tapped me on the shoulder and asked what sort of work I did.

Those were the days. Hope was enough to get us through our communications challenges. And for a while, Virgin Mobile was great in Canada. I had a prepaid phone for years that never once was cause for complaint.  Then two years ago I went to work for government and no longer had need of the phone.

That is, until I returned to private sector a few weeks ago. Shopping around for Blackberry offerings, Virgin appeared to be the most competitive and least committal. Three-year contracts or extremely expensive phones turned me off most of the major service providers, while the smaller guys just weren’t covering enough territory outside the cities. Naturally, I turned to Virgin.

On August 10, 2010, I placed the web order for a new Blackberry Bold 9700. That was 16 days ago and as of writing this, I still don’t have the phone. Someone in “sales”, I was told by a manager, shipped it to the wrong-wrong address. You see, I had been working out of a Toronto office when I ordered the phone and requested that it be shipped there. Eagerly awaiting the phone after the shipping notice had been emailed to me, I checked the Canada Post tracking number, only to find that the package was en route to Ottawa.

It’s true, my home address is in Ottawa, but what was really alarming was that the phone wasn’t sent there, but to an address one number off from mine. Of course, the mailman upon finding that I did not reside at this wrong address returned the phone to Virgin Mobile.

The first of many calls into customer service was made that day. In looking into the issue, the call-centre girl had been so pleased to offer me a tracking number, as if in knowing where the package was would help me. I asked her if she had bothered to look it up online; she hadn’t, but when she did, she saw as I had discovered that the package had been sent to the wrong address and thus returned.

Meanwhile, Virgin Mobile begins sending me billing notices, announcing that my billing period for a phone I have not received has begun. Concerned I call in again, waiting the obligatory 10 to 12 minutes before reaching an agent, who inevitably is never in the correct section to deal with my issue. This time I am assured that when I receive the phone, calling in yet again will result in the crediting to my account all days this billing period, which I was without the phone.

Another few days passes and I return to Ottawa. Still there is no phone. Yesterday, I call into customer service again, concerned that the phone will not make it in time before we move houses. (Yes, all this in the middle of a move and new job.) After providing the new address, I’m told that someone will call me the next day. Being out at work all day, I have no idea if anyone ever called.

Upon returning home, I call in to Virgin for a marathon session: a whopping two hours total between hold times and inefficient customer service (42 minutes alone on one hold period). The first woman tells me that she handles only pre-paid and transfers me back into the customer service abyss. The next guy can’t even find my file or the notes from past calls. At the same time, he tells me that the phone I have never seen has already been activated. Eventually his answer for resolving the problem is to return after another pause on hold, with yet another tracking number. Relief and triumph can almost be heard in his voice as he reads out the number, hoping that this will quell my complaint, as if yet another tracking number would rectify this situation.  Of course it doesn’t, because after all of this, I have no faith that Virgin can possibly track, much less effectively ship, an order.

After the first eighty minutes or so, I am finally passed to an unsympathetic manager who says he can do nothing to compensate all of the lost time, as the mailing of the phone to an incorrect address is actually the responsibility of the sales division, and he is in customer care. Two hours, plus the 70 minutes cumulative time in prior calls, and all the manager could do was open up a complaint, which will be dealt with (maybe) in two to three days. I, of course, don’t expect to hear from them again and so, have written this testimonial.

Had they just shipped the phone to the correct address in the first place, I’d have three hours of my life back. Had they just been able to apologise and do something to compensate their customer for all of her wasted time – I wouldn’t be writing this.

I’m not sure what is more disappointing, the fact that it is practically impossible to find good customer service in telecommunications in Canada, or that Virgin, on which so many high hopes had been placed back in 2005, has effectively turned out to be just like all the other service providers. Well, as someone wise always tells me, expectations beget disappointments.

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July 30 2010 by The Systemic Analyst.

What ever happened to common courtesy? Or am I bemoaning a lost virtue that never actually was? It’s sort of comforting to think that there might have been a time in some distant past when people were courteous to one another, considering those around them before taking action. It breeds hope that people could just return to good manners, if only they chose to do so.

If writers like Emile Zola, however, are at all accurate, it’s more likely that the majority has always been crass and from historical accounts of royalty, they too were a coarse lot. So, I guess it should come as no surprise that people taking public transit are incapable of considering those around them, instead pushing, stopping, and refusing to lower their sizeable handbags and other luggage to the ground so as to not hit the people behind.

Yet think, if people could unwind themselves from the throes of self-obsession for just a second, what might the consideration of others create in terms of a more stable and functional society? Think of the trust and cooperation that might result? Perhaps there would be no need to be governed, or policed.

It’s something to think about, in any event.

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May 12 2010 by The Systemic Analyst.

Widely covered (no pun intended) in yesterday’s news was an incident in Ottawa, in which a mother was asked to hide the breastfeeding of her son.  As has increasingly become the case, after being asked to cover up, the mother was issued an apology from the establishment where the humiliation occurred.

Granted, we all deal with humiliation differently, but in general don’t those who feel ashamed usually want to be relieved from the spotlight, not thrust back into it disclosing that event which caused the shame or the subsequent apology demanded as a result of experiencing it? And yet each time a woman breastfeeds in public and is asked to cover up, the shame and the demands for an apology are made very, very public. The argument is to be made, I suppose, that the publicity surrounding such occurrences is sought only to prevent other mothers from suffering the same horrors.

Yet this begs the question, what are women expecting to happen when they bare a breast for whatever reason in public?

Having a pair myself, I can’t imagine at any point in time feeling very comfortable about baring them in public, particularly in Canada. And, I must admit that even I feel a bit awkward when I see mothers openly doing so to breastfeed infants in public. This could just be the result of a prudish, WASPy upbringing and I am willing to accept that perhaps my views are outdated for the current social norms, but I doubt that I am alone in this thinking. After all, it was only in the latter half of the 1990’s that women in Ontario won the legal right to go topless in public.

Is it not quite likely that a woman who is inclined to expose her breast in public, even for something as natural as feeding her child, would be fairly comfortable with the idea before so doing? What should it matter to her then if others feel awkward? Furthermore, how much shame can a woman have if her convictions are so strong on the issue that she would then make the incident a public matter? It would appear that the argument for breastfeeding in public is not about what is natural between mother and child, but more so what one individual feels over the state of others around her.

Such is the underlying problem facing our society at present. Winning the right to behave the way we choose is more about how we feel than anything else. Whoever can claim the worst sort of experience will triumph. Not wanting to make someone feel bad, those who inadvertently caused the shameful experience will quietly mumble apologies into submission of a new social norm.

Is this the right approach? I’m not so sure. It doesn’t necessarily lead to better behaviour, just the right to do what we feel like.

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May 11 2010 by The Systemic Analyst.

While I don’t doubt the possibility that politicians could have had a granting process reengineered to weed out various groups of potential recipients, the bigger groups crying about no longer receiving funding are tiresome. There just isn’t enough money to go around to everyone – that is, unless these groups expect taxpayers to support all initiatives forever.

Give us a break. Isn’t it bad enough we fund a civil service of some hundreds of thousands that have largely lost touch with what an average Canadian is? Are we to just extend that coverage to every group, or better yet those with specific interests, and do so indefinitely?

The fact of the matter is funding does get cut, groups should be neither “mystified” or feel discriminated against. Nothing in this world is permanent.

Furthermore, to those groups who throw large urban parties or concerts where audiences sit passive or sipping beer, consider some of the grassroots projects that barely see a ray of funding because they are eclipsed by the likes of you whinging in the news. Don’t you think smaller educational or music programs deserve a chance, and moreover, might contribute a little more to society over the long term?

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November 12 2008 by The Systemic Analyst.

The GlobalEurope Anticipation Bulletin (GEAB), produced by the influential think tank LEAP/Europe 2020, predicts that the US Government will default on its debt anytime before next summer. The analysis presented in their recent issue here suggests that the default will occur due to the following five factors:

“• The recent upward trend of the US Dollar is a direct and temporary consequence of the collapse of stock markets

• Thanks to its recent «political baptism», the Euro becomes a credible «safe haven» value and therefore provides a «crisis» alternative to the US dollar

• The US public debt is now swelling uncontrollably

• The ongoing collapse of US real economy prevents from finding an alternative solution to the country’s defaulting

• «Strong inflation or hyper-inflation in the US in 2009?», that is the only question.”

The outline presented in the GEAB generally corresponds to what we have been saying for a while with regard to the future of the US (and all the implications for those countries tied to it). The ‘global financial meltdown’ that is unfolding now is far from reaching its climax, one reason being the impending derivatives bubble that must burst and destroy the false economy based on speculation in order to start re-building the global economy. Those who expect any ‘meaningful results’ from the upcoming G20 meeting in Washington this week will be disappointed. To put it simply, if the US creditors wait a bit longer they would get a better deal. The important question that GEAB raises above regarding the US should be considered in the following manner: will the impending (hyper-) inflation be dealt with through internal implosion (with all its ramifications for the social order in that country) or a World War as has occurred many times in the past?

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May 1 2008 by The Systemic Analyst.

A friend recently turned me onto The File by E.X., a wonderfully, biting column printed in the Ottawa Citizen. For anyone who hasn’t read it yet - do! The following is an entertaining column from last week. (Thanks, Alex!)

When it comes to hiring, The System is a product like any other, trying to appeal to the elusive youth demographic

In its first report, the Prime Minister’s Advisory Committee on the Public Service states that more work has to be done to “brand” the public service, that is to say, to market The System. Specifically it says that there “is a need for a strong and positive Public Service ‘brand’ that will support the marketing of the Public Service as an attractive employment option for talented Canadians.”

Public servants were happy for the clarification. Rumours had been circulating that the Harper government intended to brand all liberal, lefty public servants - which according to them was all 250,000 - on the left buttock with the letters CNG (Canada’s New Government).

The Committee seems to be arguing that if The System can create a strong, well-leveraged brand it will attract potential employees more easily than weaker brands will. One can only assume that weaker brands include provincial governments and the City of Ottawa.

The Committee does not indicate what specific product line should be marketed as part of a Government of Canada branding strategy to attract Generation X, Y, or beyond. Should it be The System’s streamlined human resources practices? Its vigorous policy analysis? Its modern management practices?

Susie, Jacob and Mohammed were fourth-year students applying for jobs in the federal government. According to the Committee, it takes an average of 22.4 weeks to staff a position from inside the public service. It didn’t dare speculate on how long it takes to hire someone from outside. Still, the three students were young and had an entire lifetime ahead of them, so they were prepared to go through the process.

Like many of their generation the quality of life, particularly the quality of work life, was important. And so each of them asked themselves: “What would be the ideal brand personality of the place where I work, and does the federal public service fit the bill?”

Brand personality answers this question: if the product - in this case The System - were a person, how would you describe him or her? Friendly? Intellectual? Totally nuts? As it happened, each of the potential employees had in mind a different brand personality for the ideal workplace.

Susie wanted to work in a System that had a personality like Hallmark: down-to-earth, sincere, genuine, and old-fashioned. She had been raised in a caring suburban family home with liberal parents who had followed the teachings of Dr. Spock and Penelope Leach on raising babies, kids and teenagers. She had never been spanked, had been treated with respect, and had been given the appropriate balance of firm guidance and fulfilling freedom. Not surprisingly, Susie expected to work in a System with a caring boss who acted like Robert Young in Father Knows Best.

Susie imagined a workplace where her co-workers were sympathetic and respectful, not intruding but always there when needed with a supportive word. Kind of like the 15 teddy bears and giant pandas strewn about her bedroom.

Jacob had just graduated from engineering school and had a different image of the ideal workplace. He wanted to work in a System with an accomplished, influential and competent personality. He imagined a System that ran like a pristine assembly line: cool and mechanically efficient, everything moving with perfect precision. Sometimes he dreamed of a mythical 1958 General Motors plant that ran with machine-like effectiveness inside, and turned out gleaming, glitzy cars for the outside.

Mohammed was always moving. Just like Richard Dreyfuss as Duddy Kravitz in the movie, he seemed incapable of standing still. He radiated a manic energy built on ambition, brass and confidence. The thought of sitting at a desk in a large government department had no appeal. He wanted action, to work in a System with the brand personality of the Toronto Maple Leafs: energetic and unfocused. In his System, organizations worked at breakneck pace with a sense of permanent urgency to resolve issues immediately. There was no long-term planning in Mohammed’s office. It was an organization with ADD.

Eight months later, all three found themselves working in The System. Susie was in a spirited hyper-sector that seemed to be running on a continuous treadmill just to keep up with the demands of the Once New Government. The Director was a petty tyrant.

Mohammed found himself in a division that operated with the quiet, operational efficiency of a Swiss bank.

Jacob ended up in an agency where everyone knew everyone else and there was a cheerful, courteous and supportive atmosphere.

All three quit within the year.

E.X. knows that rejuvenating The System is a top priority. The only trouble is that this means hiring young people. For more E.X. go to ottawacitizen.com/exfiles.

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April 25 2008 by The Systemic Analyst.

In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in Canada, and said, ‘Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.

Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans.’

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, ‘You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.’

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark.

‘Noah!’ He roared , ‘I’m about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?’

‘Forgive me, Lord,’ begged Noah, ‘but things have changed. I needed a building permit. I’ve been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I’ve violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.

Then Hydro One demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark’s move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

Getting the wood was another problem. There’s a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!

When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

Then the Ministry of the Environment ruled that I couldn’t build the Ark until they’d conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

I’m still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I’m supposed to hire for my building crew.

Immigration and Naturalization are checking the Visa status of most of the people who want to work.

The trades unions say I can’t use my sons. They insist I have to hire only union workers with Ark-building experience.

To make matters worse, Revenue Canada seized all my assets, claiming I’m trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

So, forgive me, Lord, but it will take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark.’

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, ‘You mean you’re not going to destroy the world?’

‘No,’ said the Lord.

‘The Government beat me to it.’

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April 18 2008 by The Systemic Analyst.

What’s the point in maintaining a blog if I can’t make a pitch for a cause every now and then?

The Canadian National Conservatory of Music (CNCM) is Canada’s fastest growing national school of music. With a reach of nearly 100,000 Canadian teachers, students and other music professionals from coast to coast, examination centres in 6 provinces, over 10 high-acclaimed publications and host to the seminal piano pedagogy event of the year, CNCM is looking to expand its activities in promoting Canadian music and bringing arts and culture to rural Canada.

Filling a void left by other organizations, CNCM offers a full educational program to teachers and students, with a focus on bringing quality training to all Canadians. The CNCM’s holistic approach blends traditional teaching techniques with innovative, expert-developed methods, encouraging student skill development from performance etiquette to theory. Often, Canadians living in rural areas are not able to access the more traditional music training facilities located in select urban centers; CNCM helps ensure that the same, if not better, level of music education is available to all Canadians without having to relocate.

As part of its 2008-2009 fundraising campaign, CNCM is working to meet a target of $500,000. This money will be used in a variety of ways, including supporting the growing body of Canadian-content focused publications produced by CNCM; a scholarship program fostering and encouraging Canadian talent; educational events, workshops and seminars held throughout the year; and allowing CNCM to hire full-time professionals thus ensuring continued growth of the organization. 

The CNCM Summer Sizzle scholarship program offers a great way for individuals to get involved. Individuals who donate $150 have the option to have a student scholarship named after them. The funds go to covering the costs for a student to attend the three-day event. 

To view a comprehensive sponsorship information package please click here.

For more information on CNCM please visit the official website. 

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April 4 2008 by The Systemic Analyst.

Given the rising cost of gasoline this game should be of interest to everyone. Scenario development games are a great way of coping with future issues. World Without Oil is particularly timely. Here’s the official blurb about the game:

“WORLD WITHOUT OIL is a serious game for the public good. WWO invited people from all walks of life to contribute “collective imagination” to confront a real-world issue: the risk our unbridled thirst for oil poses to our economy, climate and quality of life. It’s a milestone in the quest to use games as democratic, collaborative platforms for exploring possible futures and sparking future-changing action. WWO set the model for using a hot net-native storytelling method (‘alternate reality’) to meet civic and educational goals. Best of all, it was compellingly fun.”

It’s a wonder that humans haven’t already found something with which to substitute oil. This attachment (read: obsession with) to oil is very short-sighted. With games like this, at least they will be prepared for the fall out…

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March 21 2008 by The Systemic Analyst.

AtomFilms.com: Funny Videos | Funny Cartoons | Comedy Central

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