The File By E.X.: A Must Read Column

A friend recently turned me onto The File by E.X., a wonderfully, biting column printed in the Ottawa Citizen. For anyone who hasn’t read it yet - do! The following is an entertaining column from last week. (Thanks, Alex!)

When it comes to hiring, The System is a product like any other, trying to appeal to the elusive youth demographic

In its first report, the Prime Minister’s Advisory Committee on the Public Service states that more work has to be done to “brand” the public service, that is to say, to market The System. Specifically it says that there “is a need for a strong and positive Public Service ‘brand’ that will support the marketing of the Public Service as an attractive employment option for talented Canadians.”

Public servants were happy for the clarification. Rumours had been circulating that the Harper government intended to brand all liberal, lefty public servants - which according to them was all 250,000 - on the left buttock with the letters CNG (Canada’s New Government).

The Committee seems to be arguing that if The System can create a strong, well-leveraged brand it will attract potential employees more easily than weaker brands will. One can only assume that weaker brands include provincial governments and the City of Ottawa.

The Committee does not indicate what specific product line should be marketed as part of a Government of Canada branding strategy to attract Generation X, Y, or beyond. Should it be The System’s streamlined human resources practices? Its vigorous policy analysis? Its modern management practices?

Susie, Jacob and Mohammed were fourth-year students applying for jobs in the federal government. According to the Committee, it takes an average of 22.4 weeks to staff a position from inside the public service. It didn’t dare speculate on how long it takes to hire someone from outside. Still, the three students were young and had an entire lifetime ahead of them, so they were prepared to go through the process.

Like many of their generation the quality of life, particularly the quality of work life, was important. And so each of them asked themselves: “What would be the ideal brand personality of the place where I work, and does the federal public service fit the bill?”

Brand personality answers this question: if the product - in this case The System - were a person, how would you describe him or her? Friendly? Intellectual? Totally nuts? As it happened, each of the potential employees had in mind a different brand personality for the ideal workplace.

Susie wanted to work in a System that had a personality like Hallmark: down-to-earth, sincere, genuine, and old-fashioned. She had been raised in a caring suburban family home with liberal parents who had followed the teachings of Dr. Spock and Penelope Leach on raising babies, kids and teenagers. She had never been spanked, had been treated with respect, and had been given the appropriate balance of firm guidance and fulfilling freedom. Not surprisingly, Susie expected to work in a System with a caring boss who acted like Robert Young in Father Knows Best.

Susie imagined a workplace where her co-workers were sympathetic and respectful, not intruding but always there when needed with a supportive word. Kind of like the 15 teddy bears and giant pandas strewn about her bedroom.

Jacob had just graduated from engineering school and had a different image of the ideal workplace. He wanted to work in a System with an accomplished, influential and competent personality. He imagined a System that ran like a pristine assembly line: cool and mechanically efficient, everything moving with perfect precision. Sometimes he dreamed of a mythical 1958 General Motors plant that ran with machine-like effectiveness inside, and turned out gleaming, glitzy cars for the outside.

Mohammed was always moving. Just like Richard Dreyfuss as Duddy Kravitz in the movie, he seemed incapable of standing still. He radiated a manic energy built on ambition, brass and confidence. The thought of sitting at a desk in a large government department had no appeal. He wanted action, to work in a System with the brand personality of the Toronto Maple Leafs: energetic and unfocused. In his System, organizations worked at breakneck pace with a sense of permanent urgency to resolve issues immediately. There was no long-term planning in Mohammed’s office. It was an organization with ADD.

Eight months later, all three found themselves working in The System. Susie was in a spirited hyper-sector that seemed to be running on a continuous treadmill just to keep up with the demands of the Once New Government. The Director was a petty tyrant.

Mohammed found himself in a division that operated with the quiet, operational efficiency of a Swiss bank.

Jacob ended up in an agency where everyone knew everyone else and there was a cheerful, courteous and supportive atmosphere.

All three quit within the year.

E.X. knows that rejuvenating The System is a top priority. The only trouble is that this means hiring young people. For more E.X. go to ottawacitizen.com/exfiles.

This entry was posted on May 1 2008 at 15:58 and is filed under Other, Politics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.